CP wept

Do you know the success rate for an artist is 30%? Did you know the great artist Rembrandt died dead poor?

Being a starving artist I go thru hundreds of downs. I, like many other artists, are faced with so many obstacles. I get depressed, stressed out, worry, and many times I question if this worth doing anymore? Also, being criticized, rejected, and under-appreciated takes a toll on a person's spirit, daily. If I had $100 for every time someone said, “Your work is amazing” I’d be a content man. But compliments don’t pay the Mortgage, car note, credit card bills, utilities, food, and other expenses. I’m faced with so much uncertainties. For all the hard work a man must do to be am Artist, the pressure is over-whelming.

So today I went to Church. The pastor preached about 2 Cor. 3-7

4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

The Pastor talked about being “distressed” in a situation that God has chosen for you. Thru out the Bible God took very ordinary people and told them they can do impossible things for his Kingdom. The pastor said, “God, told them, this is what I’ve chosen for you to do”.

I know the saying, "Men aren't supposed to Cry". I dont cry much, but I cried today in Church, because I’ve been praying so long to God, during these times of distress, to tell me what he wants me to do? He answered me, “I’ve Chosen you to do this, I chosen you to speak to the kids and give them someone to look up too. I chosen you to be apart of people’s lives and I used your gifts for myself.” This started to make sense to me, because if I was rich and needed nothing, I’d be conceited and content with what I had and not what I needed to do. I felt humbled down to my core.

The pastor said “everyone will come to points in their life when you’re at a cliff. The cliff’s dropped is 5 miles down, and you look at God and say “So I guess this is as far as I should go?” and he said, “No, keep Going, I got you”.

Love thy Neighbor

In the City of Atlanta, there is a big state of poverty in the City. Unfortunately no one is talking about solutions to fix it. People are begging on the streets, everywhere you turn. Yesterday I decided to find out "what happened to them?".


I went to the west end of Atlanta and met a man in front of a fried chicken restaurant. He called himself "Scarface". He had massive scars all over his body. He seen me with a camera and wanted me to do a documentary on him. I giggled and said, "I don't do documentaries but I'd like to take your picture and hear your story". Scarface didn't say much of anything, just went back and forth, mumbling about alot of different things. He talked about the street life and how he hustles selling CDs. He wanted me to buy him some chicken, and I did. it was the lest I could do
Next, I was in Castleberry, were I met James, a pan handler on Peters St. I knew James for a while, James calls me "Nephew". James is a cool dude. As we were talking a woman came around, saying "Please! someone help me, I'm pregnant and I need food, I don't want your money, I just want something to eat". I gave her $5, but James gave all the money he had pan-handling to her. I said to him, "why did you do that?" he said, "Because Nephew, it's just gonna come right back to me".



James said he is a diabetic living on the streets, which shocked me because my mom is a diabetic, and her life is tough with that disease. He said when he asks for food, people think he will sell it for drugs, so they tell him to eat it in front of them. He does what they say, knowing it will probably kill him. I asked him what went wrong in his life? He said, "Nothing went wrong, Nephew, I chose this life" I asked him but what about the winters and living life on the streets, aren't you suffering? he said "I look forward to everyday, I've been doing this for years, God put me here to help others like that lady".

A few things run through my mind. In Jesus's time he helped the poor. The Poor and needy mobbed him everyday of his ministry. We read about when a multitude of 5,000 came he feed them fish and bread. Jesus, must of been overwhelmed by what was going on, but kept helping and passed the opportunity to help others, to us.

I dont know these people. but I'm not here to judge them. God gives us the opportunity to help our neighbors, we need to do it, as it was written, "Love thy Neighbor".

My Way

Ever since I've hit a little notoriety in the Art scene, it seems like every word I say, every move I make, I get a backlash of critics, hate, and snakes coming out the grass.

I've been called every part of the human digestion system. I've been called insensitive, politically incorrect, a homophobe, a sell-out, uppity, a hero, a leader, a motivation, and a inspiration. Sometimes Deserved. I've been ignored, abandoned, challenged, rejected, accepted, wanted, praised and discredited, all in the same week.

I say all of this to say, I did it all, My Way. Before you think you can say you know CP the Artist, know first Charlton Palmer. A skinny kid out of Perth Amboy, New Jersey. Who grew up very insecure about his height, weight, and that felt alot of rejection as a kid. Then when I became a man, I kept trying to find a better way in life. I became a Christian put my faith into God, not people. I don't have the greatest rags to riches story or tragedy turned triumph moments. I am sorry there's no Hollywood movie script material.

I'm not looking for any ones approval, because I am a flawed human being and I wish people would just accept that. You see more then the top layer, so accept it, its My Way. I will say and do the wrong things by mistake.

I do art for a living and not for fame or glory. I am here to make lives better. I hope to make a difference in lives thru my ART and service. My Way, isn't the best way, but don't put me on a pedestal and expect me to be PERFECT. Don't hold stock into the things I may fail at. You wanna make me better, then be like my best friends, by helping me love, care, and find understanding. Help me do the greater good. Quit the jealousy, envy, tough talk, and sensitivity because all of that isnt My Way.